The Race is On

Every year at this time, the anxiety really starts to kick in...so much to do, such little time to do it. I start to feel so inadequate as a teacher - like if I had scheduled my year better, fought for better and earlier intervention for some, the group as a whole would be so much more prepared for first grade. Every minute that I lose now is a minute that I could be pushing in more content...and yet, I don't really believe that as a teacher. I DO subscribe to the theory that the learning is in the doing, in the play, too. That the social-emotional growth - of which we've done a good job supporting on so many layers this year - is also of paramount importance, too. And I know that pushing reading to kids at a stage that is earlier than they are ready does no good - in fact, it can actually do harm. But...there is the expectation for them to be exiting with a certain reading level under their belt, and I feel I have failed a little with each child who will not reach that bar by June. Today, I was stressed again - and when I tried to really own it, to figure out what was eating at me the most, it came down to how I interacted with R. today. It is becoming more and more clear to me that he has some sort of processing disorder, that his dysgraphia is tied up with some other information overload problem. And yet, I was pushing, prodding, making him anxious for not staying on track, not picking up on visual cues, not listening to my words. I don't think I'm very good at differentiating, even though I know how important it is. I have done such a "good" job of convincing people I know what I'm doing, that I'm afraid to ask for help in the areas I don't, like supporting these differences. I'm sad that I might have caused anxiety for R. today. I don't know how to undo it. He's such a lovely child... how do I back off, give him space and time and positive reinforcement? And how do I manage all the stress I'm carrying, so I can end the year feeling proud, instead of worn out?