Is it worth it?

Finally home, after a long day that pushed right into the early evening. Our end-of-year Pot Luck was tonight, and I really did tried to imagine I had taken a large valium and just did.not.care. Compared to the last two years, when I was in complete shock by the lack of cooperation, the undisciplined parenting, the children behaving so out-of-character compared to a typical school day...I decided I was not going to let that enraged monster surface again tonight. But it required not stepping outside into the yard, where kids were pulling plants out of the garden and in generally behaving insane, all under the watchful eyes of their respective adults.

The other part that somewhat floors me is the relatively few genuine comments of thanks I get on this night. I keep thinking, am I being ungrateful? Or is this just a lost art for this generation of parents? I actually find myself making an effort to go up to people; people are not naturally coming up to me, and it just feels strange. Did I miss something? Here we are, wrapping up a year with 36 children, and I received one (1) hand-written card. Of course, there were monetary thanks - in gift card form, or penned by room parents collectively giving thanks. And I won't take for granted the people who actually did say something - those who were super kind, sincere and appreciative with their words. But in general, it just seems like...I could have done way less and received that same number of sentiments. I mean, I spend half of Sunday, drafting personalized emails to each of my kindergarten families, of which I made a point to note their child's academic and social achievements for the year. Of the twelve I sent, only five acknowledged them. So in the end, was it worth the work? I know I would have felt I'd short-sheeted the children if I didn't do it, and so...I put in the effort. But next time? I'm not so sure. This level of commitment really takes a toll. I'm not convinced, at the end of the day, the rewards offset the headache.

Three Days To Go

I try not to work on my computer when kids are in the classroom...but with only a few days left and so much still to do, I had to get a couple emails out. Raiden came over, asking if I would play cards with him. I quickly brushed him off, saying I couldn't right now. A few minutes later, he was back, this time informing me he was going to write me a message. I didn't think more of it...in fact, when he finished it and placed it next to where I was working, I didn't even see it. As we began wrapping things up for the day at Home Time, Raiden asked if I saw his writing. "Gosh, Bud, I forgot to look!" And so I walked over to my desk, and found this beneath my computer:

These children are so dear! Writing is not something that comes easy to Raiden; he struggles to hold a pencil and form his letters correctly, but still gives it his all. To write a message is no small feat, and it makes this note all the more special to me. At this time of the year, I'm tired and frustrated and am so ready to hand these little gremlins on to the next teacher. And yet, they are also wonderful, and loving and sincere, and I will miss them all when they move onto first grade next year! Raiden in particular...